Sleep could not find me last night , so as usual I lay there watching the clock. Just ticking away. My mind just wonders everywhere on things we won't get to share. Hearing his first word, his first step(even though he was trying and would do so very soon). My heart loves and cherish all the memories but at the same time hurts for the ones we don't get to have. Cheated out of so much and I can't understand why. I have so any emotions and they just race around me all the time. Some days better than others. Today not such a good day, maybe tomorrow will. I keep saying tomorrow may be better all the while knowing it won't. I know my family hurts as much as I do. We all just wandering around our days just trying to make it to the next day with our broken hearts.