Been to long
It’s hard to believe it’s been so long since I actually sat down to write. Mason’s blog is so important and is a way for me to vent my feelings. I have struggled so much these last 5 months or so and let my anger, frustration and hurt build up to much. I wish I could say I haven’t wrote because my heart is healing and days are better, BUT that’s not the reason. My heart remains heavy each morning I wake and Mason Jayce isn’t here. That unbelievable greets me and travels with me every second. That pain is so hard to describe.
I have a lot to be thankful for, my husband and my boys. My oldest is in his own place and doing so well. He is one of the top salesmen at T-Mobile and I’m so proud of him. My youngest son, (Mason’s Daddy), is home with us and rebuilding his life the best he can with the biggest hole in his heart. He is working and taking One day at a time. My husband and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary next month, so we have so much to look forward to. I have just a hand full of family that have stuck with me and we continue to support each other. A lot showed their true colors but that is ok. Nothing or no one that I lose can compare to the loss of Mason. Nothing can hurt me that much other than the loss of Mason. I Have also gained a lot of friends who I consider more my family than actual family. Denise and her kids, Beth and her family, and Deb,Nicole, Paul and the whole town of Dahlonega Georgia. No hearts bigger than in Dahlonega.
I have learned a new hobby to help finance Mason’s Foundation. Keeping his foundation going takes a lot of my time but it is so worth it. Who knows maybe one day my hobby will grow so big that we will need a place of our own. Working out of my house in Mason’s room right now and call it Simply Mason Designs. We have an Etsy store online, also purchases off of AmazonSmile helps to give back to Mason’s Foundation. We continue each month carrying books to Piedmont Medical for the new babies to encourage literacy and bonding. We are actually getting messages from new parents who have heard of our program and are looking forward to receiving their book and reading the sweet message inside from Mason. I pour my heart and soul into Mason Jayce and making sure his memory stays strong and that his death isn’t what people remember the most. I want them to remember his bright beautiful smile, his laugh, beautiful face and those funny looks he could give, and that his life mattered and he should be here with us making a lifetime of memories, growing, learning, loving, exploring, and giving us hugs and kisses and hearing his sweet voice.
So here we are, continuing to try and move forward. Court date upcoming and maybe we can get answers in his death. Maybe we never will know what happened that early dreadful morning on September 9th. So many stories out there about it , but no matter which is true or what happened or didn’t happen, the end result is the same.. Mason isn’t here and he should be. That’s the ending you can’t change. Getting that phone call that Mason wasn’t breathing, racing to the hospital, waiting to get to see him, not knowing what was happening, getting shuffled by nurses to a big room and just waiting that seemed like forever, to seeing The doctor come in with a gloomy look on his face and hearing him say those awful words. I’m sorry we couldn’t save him and he is gone, and in that moment my world changed forever. I don’t remember much of that day after hearing those words. I remember holding him back in the hospital room for one last time. Kissing him and telling him Gigi loves him always and forever. He looked as if he was just sleeping and Knew he was safe in his Gigi’s arms. He knew he was loved more than anything by his GigI , papa and his daddy. I kept praying as I was holding him to please wake up. I didn’t want to let go of him. How could I let go of my heart and soul in that room? That pain is one I never wish on anyone. My soul will always feel heavy, and I know now that in that room I didn’t let go ... I still carry you in my arms, my heart, my mind, my memories, my dreams and in every second of my life. Everywhere in my home I see you, your room has become my safe haven. You are in every book I buy, write in and give away, everything we make and design, YOU are in everything! Mason Jayce Foundation and Simply Mason Designs are YOU and only YOU. Every donation, every purchase goes back to YOU and your cause. ❤️🐢😇
I will get back to writing more as it is a good outlet for me. Some may grow tired of hearing about Mason Jayce , some people may stop talking about him and just move on as if he didn’t even exist, but I will always be here shouting his name Mason Jayce and promoting his foundation, and overloading his social media with news and updates. Most importantly honoring him and his memory, and giving him the legacy and justice he deserves.
Gigi loves you , Gigi loves you, Gigi loves you always my sweet explorer and sea turtle Mason Jayce. Swim safe and explore far.🐢❤️