The loss of a child can take many forms. It could be lying in bed all day or listening to a song that brings you to tears. It can be smelling his clothes to feel near to them. The last clothes he wore, last toy he touched, the last pacifier he used. The last blanket he slept with.
Child loss means seeing other children who are the age he should be. It means meeting another little boy who has the same name as Mason. It's seeing other parents ignore their children or complain about them and wanting to scream and shake them and tell them to be grateful that they still have their child. Child loss is talking about Mason whenever you can with other people, and ending up in heartache because of it. Child loss is seeing things to buy for Mason and then realizing he won't see or play with it. It means seeing a child that looks like Mason ,and trying not to stare.
Child loss is grieving for more than just you. It's loss and heartache, memories and longing for what should have been.
My loss of Mason is the worst thing I'll ever experience but I would do it all over again if it meant I got to have the 7 1/2 months with Mason.