This was my son Tyler's first Father's Day since the loss of Mason. Tyler is away from his family so I know that made it even more difficult for him. Being alone and away from family during this time is devastating and I'm not sure how he gets through it. Our society puts so much emphasis that men need to be tough and hide their emotions. Tyler tries but as his mother I see the hurt in his eyes and hear it in his voice.
I will never forget that day September 9th 2016 and having to tell my son that his baby was gone. As a mother we want to protect our child and never cause them any pain or hurt them. Well that day I devastated my son. Those words once they came out the look of utter devastation and pain I saw in my son just killed me. I wanted to take it all back and make it all better but there was nothing I could do. I saw my son in so much pain and uncontrollable crying and I was helpless.
A mother's bond with her child is priceless but so is a father's bond. Yes the mother carries the child for nine months, feels them move and kick, and has to stay healthy and rest so that the child is born healthy. The father also carries that child too, not physically , but they see the child growing, they feel the mother's stomach as they move and kick. The father takes care of the mother and makes sure she gets food, rest and is comfortable. The father is there for every craving and any want the mother has and gets her whatever she needs. My son Tyler was there for all that. Tyler was there everyday and for every step of the way. Tyler was there when Mason was born and saw the first breath Mason took along with Ariel. Tyler was only 17 and that is the amazing part. Tyler wasn't the typical deadbeat young father our society wants us to think. Tyler didn't abandon his child's mother and didn't run from his responsibilities. The look of happiness and the hopes and dreams I saw in Tyler's eyes was amazing. To see my son walking out and showing us his child with the love in him was amazing. I was never more proud of him then I was at that moment. Mason was a part of Tyler and Ariel and forever will be. No matter where life takes them or what road they take or don't take they will forever have that bond. They will forever be Mason's mother and father. Each birthday, holiday , each milestone Mason should have reached , mother and Father's Day it will forever be there.
I'm sure I'm just rambling all over the place but I just wanted to show that a father is important to and their pain is just as important also. Not all young teenage boys are or will be a deadbeat as society labels them. My son wasn't . I see tyler staring at other babies and the look of longing for Mason. I see him staring when another child runs up to their father and him realizing he won't get that with Mason. I see the look of heartache in him knowing all the things he won't have with Mason . It breaks my heart seeing him looking at other Fathers with their child, tyler tries to hide all that but I see. I see it no matter how hard he tries to cover his pain up. It is there and always will be.
We love you Mason, we love you, we love you forever. Our little piece of heaven.
