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September was always my favorite month, my birthday month. What girl doesn't love her month and having it all about her, but now all that has changed and now September is the month I hate the most and wish would never come again. September 9, 2016 is the day my world changed forever. The day my heart left me and the breath knocked out of me, forever never the same. I have found myself trying to prepare for September and saying I will not lose it completely. I know that I will lose it, and nothing can or will help me. How could I have went to sleep on September 8th so completely happy and then to wake up on September 9th to have my world change forever. How is that possible? Life changed in a blink of a eye. 

I find my heart taking me back through those 7 months with Mason and reliving every second. To that magical day on January 25th 2016 when our little angel was born. To holding him that first time and saying "hey Mason I'm your GiGi and we are gonna have a blast together"  to the last day together on September 8th. That last time I held him and said GiGi will see you tomorrow when he reached out for me. To the last kiss and looking forward to getting him again the next day. That next day would never come for us. So many memories made in those times and thinking my heart would burst with so much happiness. So I have to tell myself don't lose it, stay together and stay strong. I will get through September 9th as long as I remember all the other days and our memories together right? Am I kidding myself or should I just go to sleep on August 31st and wake back up on October 1st... who am I kidding the pain would knock me back down once I opened my eyes as it does everyday. That big pain and hurt is there no matter what day it is, September or not. I

When September gets here and knocks me down, I will be prepared this September 9th. I made it a whole year , a whole 365 without my heart. I will get it back one day but until then Mason is holding it safe for me. 

I love you forever Mason Jayce 🐢❤️

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