Angry

Tonight I am drowning in my anger. Angry that Mason isn’t here with me. Angry that I can’t hold or kiss him. Angry that I never got to hear him call me Gigi. Angry that I had to tell my son that his baby boy was gone. Angry that his clothes don’t smell like him anymore. Angry that I start and end every day sitting in his room praying that he was still here. Angry that all we have are memories. Angry that there is no future for Mason. Angry that I never got answers on his last hours. Angry that people say it was God’s plan. Angry that I have to look at pictures to see his beautiful smile. Angry that to hear his laugh in videos. Not sure why the anger has hit me hard today. All I know is that I love him so much and miss him more than anything. I love you, my sweet Mason Jayce.